Meek, quiet, submissive, timid. These are the words I would say someone would use to describe me, someone that doesn’t know me. I say this because until recently I saw myself through this lens. I would have used these words to describe me….if i was truly being honest with someone. What changed that? Seeing myself through the lens of someone that has gotten to know me, the good, the bad and the ugly. Someone who was surprised at the way I describe myself and said 8 powerful words that changed my perspective.
“You are a force to be reckoned with”.
At first I laughed. Me? No way.
After having time to let those 8 words sink in over the course of a week. After having those words swirl in my head for days. Consume my thoughts and shift the perspective of myself through this newfound lens of something I thought was so far from myself, it hit me. I AM a force to be reckoned with.
Most people in my life failed me as a child and I was forced to learn how to advocate for myself at a young age. Looking back at all I’ve been through I’ve now realized I have done amazing things for myself. It was hard to have a voice for the first 20 years of my life. Someone took that away from me. Tried to stifle my “light”, my good. For so long I’ve given that person so much power by believing that they did take my voice and left me meek, quiet, submissive and timid, but now I look back and see how I survived. I see how no matter how much evil, no matter how many times I felt defeated or like there was no way out, no end to the suffering, I still pushed. I pushed back and kept moving forward and eventually got out and never looked back.
Now? I AM a force to be reckoned with. I WILL have a voice in every relationship, every situation, that comes my way. I will not have my “light” stifled. I will not sit back and compromise my beliefs or what I stand for. I will not change for someone or something else. I am learning to cherish myself and I am figuring out that I no longer have to accept what anyone tells me to do or how to be and I’m learning how to do that in a healthy, positive way. To be heard and to know my feelings matter. Everyone deserves that.
-Blue Eyed Princess